the meaning of Faith to me? I can answer simply, it is Life. I don't know how
to explain it simpler. Faith in God is not just a fraise to me. I live by this.
There is no other way to live, when you don't have anybody else to depend on,
and nobody is around. All my life I live alone. Of course, there are always
people ready to help, but there is no that special one, permanent one. God is
only one who is always there. It was always difficult for me to explain or just
tell people how I live. Many things I don't understand myself.
At the present time I live in America, I live all alone. In Russia I lived in
a studio all by myself. My apartment was located on third floor in the house
without elevator; therefor I could get outside very rarely. Sometime friends
would take me outside but most of 34 years of my life the only things I would
see were walls and ceiling. They look the same everywhere. I didn't have a good
wheelchair there so I could go for a walk. I remember what I felt when first
time in my life I could touch the tree. It was like a miracle to me. Many people
don't think about it and take it for granted. I was 25 at that time.
I came to
America to build a wheelchair. My friends offered their help to make it in United
States. I came to build wheelchair and staid here. It was a miracle for me to
come here. I will tell more about that later and it will be in my
How do I live? I don't know. Russian doctors told my mother that I wouldn't
live longer then 12 years. American doctors told me that I should have been
dead 10 years ago. But I live. God only knows how much longer I have to live;
it's all in His hands.
I have everything I need. I have everything I need for this very moment of my
life. How is that happening? I don't know. Wrong, I do know. I believe in God,
I put my trust in Him. I live alone but it's not exactly correct. God is always
with me and He provides for my needs.
25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for
your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body,
what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do
they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are
ye not much better than they?
27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his
28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies
of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory
was not arrayed like one of these.
30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which
to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe
you, O ye of little faith?
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or,
What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your
heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
What I am
writing here is a bunch of words for some people. I can't explain it any better.
I just live. Maybe you will understand me better after some wondering through
my pages. If you are interested, of course. The only thing I can say for sure,
that it has nothing to do with Orthodox religion. I always differentiate between
faith and religion.
These are different things and most of the time they don't even have a connection.
When Human been has nothing and nobody, but he has God; it means that he has
everything. It was happening and it is happening in my life. God has never forsaken
me. He has always staid close to me through my friends and all those things
I have. He was with me always, even when I didn't know him.